Great Post

Short post today- just was re-reading my wonderful book "Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy" edited by Gurman and Jacobson that I've mentioned before on the blog, when I saw a great quote I wanted to share with you guys. In essence, it's about a healthy couple. A healthy relationship is best viewed within the context of the individual partners, the couple, and the couple's environment. A healthy couple relationship is "one in which both individuals contribute to the well-being of the relationship as a unit. This means both partners have formed an effective partnership- reaching decisions and resolving problems effectively, developing a sense of intimacy and caring, communicating constructively, engaging as a couple in a variety of mutually rewarding and engaging activities..." (pg.29) Great advice- and true. It's not totally romantic, but a good way of looking at being in a couple. It is a bit like a partnership in business, only it's in love. You make compromises, agree to do certain things in exchange for what you want, and you make time to be together to get things done that will benefit both of you. There's a lot of "How about I do this ________ and you do _______, that okay with you?" Bargaining is an important skill to learn because no one wins when you fight so hard to get your way, you create  a huge argument over something trivial. Pick you battles people! It's not that big of a deal if he won't pick up his clothes. Don't let it drive you crazy. Just agree that you'll pick up his clothes, if he picks up the check! (or something like that, work it out best for what you both want)